Setting boundaries is an inside job. That's key.
I had to learn to not only not take in other people's stuff, but to also set limits against what was harmful to me. I could not wait for anyone else to do it for me.
You regain trust with yourself just like you do with anyone else: by acting trustworthy over time. One day you notice that the cumulative effect of saying 'yes' to what is good for you, and 'no' to what isn't, has shifted you in subtle, yet PROFOUND ways. You can now trust your instinct, hear your own wisdom. It becomes easier to say 'no'
My journey has been one of re-membering, allowing, integrating and growing up all the different parts of myself into a cohesive whole. Because allowing the rebellious part, while denying the part who longs to belong, only creates suffering; ignoring the angry part cuts me off from my own power; and running from the grief-stricken parts only brings more disconnection...