Some roads are difficult. There is no prettying up grief or loss...whether it's a person, a beloved pet or a way of being. I know firsthand the pain of losing your identity to illness or mucking through depression. At it's worst, the monkey mind voices in my head *almost* had me convinced it would be never-ending.
Maybe you're in an not-so-fun stretch of road yourself, and your monkey mind is screeching through a bullhorn:
"It's NEVER GOING TO GET ANY BETTER!!!!"
"It's ALWAYS going to feel like this!!!"
"You'll NEVER BE HAPPY again."
(Oh Monkey Mind...you are SO dramatic...)
Don't Fall For It!
But here's the truth: that voice is just a brain trick you can't afford to fall for, no matter how real it feels at the moment. The truth is that NO ROAD LASTS FOREVER because even if the circumstances can't change, your feelings inevitably will.
When you catch monkey mind saying "always" or "never" during one of his painful tirades, try this:
- acknowledge the feeling,
- use the word "sometimes"
- bring it all present tense.
- then add the phrase "but no feeling lasts forever."
INSTEAD of: "I've lost my job and will never have insurance or security again." << feeling terrified
TRY: "Sometimes I feel terrified because I don't have insurance or security right now. But no feeling lasts forever."
INSTEAD of: "My colicky baby is never going to sleep and I'm going to lose my mind." <<feeling overwhelmed
TRY: "Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because my colicky baby isn't sleeping, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. But no feeling lasts forever.
Resilience includes the awareness that even if you don't feel it in the present, there is a part of you that knows that nothing is permanent. The future is open.
Breathe in that possibility.